President’s Message – September 1993
Run to the GFTC Elections

Election of club officers will be the main business of our September meeting. This is our annual token display of democracy in which we select the slate of tyrants and sycophants put forth by the outgoing officers. You shouldn’t miss it. 

Two years ago, I took office after campaigning on the proposition that any idiot could run the GFTC, so why not, me? As always, there were doubters and naysayers. But after two years of demonstrated incompetence, ineptitude, irresponsibility and malfeasance, our membership is up and the treasury is solvent. The critics have been silenced, or purged. Having proven my point, attained my goals and pocketed the officer’s bonus, it is time to step aside and pass the torch to another rascal. 

I want to thank all those officers who have served this year, as well as those who haven’t. Their efforts on your behalf have been as tireless as they are unnoticed. They kept the ship afloat while the captain was drunk in the scuppers. 

Stan Gordon has done an outstanding job as Vice President. The Newsletter is our main channel of communication and he took a fine product and improved it. He brought technological expertise, good editorial judgment, a wonderful sense of humor and boundless energy to this task. His accomplishments are even more extraordinary considering the material he was working with. Anyone who can make race results and officers reports appear interesting deserves a Pulitzer Prize. It has been an extraordinarily time consuming task, but the results reflect his stewardship. Great work Stan! 

It is the unfortunate lot of Treasurers that their greatest contributions must go unheralded, lest the auditors or IRS learn of them. Nonetheless, I assure you Gerry Nearman has been a boon to the club, both for his meticulous handling of our accounts and for his sage advice and counsel during officers meetings. His scheme for putting our savings to work by selling wheat and corn futures short was brilliantly conceived and executed. Be fair, who knew the floods would come? I’m confident he will recoup those losses by year’s end. 

Joe Koziol took over as Activities Director this year and has done a wonderful job under trying circumstances. Being social director for a running club is like being fashion consultant at a nudist colony. Yet Joe has bravely encouraged us to partake of social activities that don’t lead, as a natural consequence, to a group of half-naked adults standing around panting, sweating and spitting. That he has not succeeded should in no way diminish the magnitude of his efforts. I’m kidding, of course. The fun runs, banquet, Christmas caroling and meetings have been flawlessly orchestrated by Joe, for which we are deeply grateful. 

Ted Tyler has continued his long and distinguished service as Membership Director. Over the years he has raised his data and file management skills to an art form. He not only stores names, addresses, phone numbers and membership expiration dates, but also contrives to record every member’s age, gender, race pace and known (or suspected) origin of dialect. His files harbor more secrets than J. Edgar Hoover’s lingerie drawer. Which is why we all believe he should be designated Membership Director for Life. 

Tom Abbott earns our thanks for his service as Grand Prix Director. His articles analyzing Grand Prix results and standings have been both informative and amusing. This office has always been a center of controversy, given the diversity of opinion about which races and distances should be in the GP series. Through it all, Tom has held up with his unflappable good humor. Except for the time he applied a cattle prod to Wayne Buckley in a most inappropriate manner. We all have our limits. 

There is no title grand enough to encompass all the services rendered to the club by John Shane. He keeps the minutes, plans long runs for marathon training, supplies water and Gatorade at fun runs, with Charlotte plans and leads outdoor expeditions all seasons of the year, and volunteers to work any race he isn’t running, as well as some that he is. John has often injected reason and logic into our frenzied deliberations, which has earned him an undeserved reputation as an elitist snob. He isn’t. He’s just afflicted with intelligence and we should all strive to be more understanding. 

We are indebted to Stan Gordon, Gerry Nearman, Joe Koziol, Ted Tyler, Tom Abbott and John Shane for their service. They brought energy and enthusiasm to their duties, as we all knew they would. I particularly thank them for the advice and support they provided, as I reeled and stumbled under the mantle of leadership. 

Art